Have you ever felt so incredibly captivated by a man?
His deep voice.
The way he speaks.
The way he smells
The way he puts himself together.
The way he carries himself.
The way he looks at you.
Have you ever wondered… is it Love or just Chemistry?
And do you know that there’s a difference…?
The quickest and simplest answer to that question is that LOVE develops slowly over time and it is effortless. Meanwhile, CHEMISTRY hits you much more suddenly and it’s typically triggered by a past pain that hasn’t been healed yet.
With CHEMISTRY You Almost Feel Intoxicated With The Way He Makes You Feel.
Chemistry can feel a lot like love, but there are some very key differences between chemistry and love.
Chemistry is just like it sounds – it’s your veryyy lustful chemical response to another person.
You might say:
“But lust and chemistry are good feelings aren’t they? Even if it’s lust, you still feel good, don’t you? There can’t be anything wrong with that, can there!?!?”
SO, is this your pattern when dating men:
You only date men who you find highly attractive (like a 7 or above with 10 being the highest in attractiveness).
He consumes your thoughts and you begin to imagine a future with him.
You do nice and thoughtful things for him in order to make it crystal clear that you’re into him.
You prioritize him over your leisure activities.
You over-function in the relationship.
You keep your calendar open for him to make plans with you even if he’s treating you terribly or only giving you bread crumbs, BUT you hold on to him because you are convinced that he’s the one and hope that he will realize it too and come around.
You begin to feel resentful towards him because you are the only one carrying the weight of the relationship on your shoulders.
Just as suddenly as the ‘feel-good chemicals’ shot up in your system at the beginning of the relationship, shortly thereafter they begin to plummet down.
Eventually the once ‘feel-good chemicals’ wither away entirely OR in some cases the relationship turns toxic.
So even though you’re consumed by these ‘feel-good chemicals’ — chemistry is deceiving because your subconscious mind is only drawn towards him because he’s emotionally unavailable to you (or to love in general) — and these feelings are familiar to your subconscious programming.
Maybe you are shutting yourself off from your own emotions? Or maybe you never developed a sense of connection with one or both your parents/ caretakers. Some of this is learned behaviour if you grew up seeing your parents having a dysfunctional relationship.
IF this is your pattern when dating men, then chances are you are specifically targeting men you feel strong chemistry for and mistaking it for love.
Don’t worry, because you’re not alone and it’s really not that uncommon.
BUT you do owe it to yourself to break free from this toxic and unfulfilling pattern and instead magnetize true love into your life.
So Then What is LOVE…?
LOVE, even, at first sight, isn’t some supernova – rather it’s a calmer inner voice…
Like “hmm there’s something about that person”…
You’ll feel an attraction to that person, but your thoughts don’t go straight to wanting to rip his clothes off.
Love is a slow burn process.
Love builds continually over time and has an upward trajectory.
Love is feelings of being understood, bliss, joy, warmth.
Love is knowing that your man respects you and has your back.
Love is trusting that he will honour you in your presence and when you’re not there to witness it.
Love is a deep friendship and intimacy.
Love is feelings of, well, …love.
‘Love’ is not ‘Chemistry’. LOVE includes emotional intimacy… not just physical intimacy.
Now that’s not to say that you aren’t going to have great physical intimacy with the man you love.
Quite the opposite actually, because the physical intimacy has the potential to get better over time when it’s a love relationship if you both make a conscious effort to keep the passion alive.
Unlike with chemistry, where you quickly hit a peak either over several weeks or months and then it all starts to decline until you are basically done with each other!
Love grows – it’s not temporary. Love is everlasting.
A lot of relationships end because folks aren’t aware of the key differences between chemistry and love. As you might have already experienced, not knowing costs you more heartaches in the long run.