Am I worthy of LOVE at all…?
…FIRST of all, you are absolutely worthy of LOVE!
Your experience of love is a mirror reflection of your beliefs about love.
IF you believe love is something you have to work hard to attain because perhaps when you were growing up you might have had a parent figure that you always had to work hard to gain their love and approval, but you never felt truly worthy of their love.
THEN in your adult life, you subconsciously recreate the same experience by always pining after love from partners that aren’t emotionally available to you.
So what does that look like?
That can look like you posturing, or displaying approval-seeking behaviour, or putting your partner on a pedestal, or searching for chemistry…
And what does that result in?
When you are in approval-seeking mode, ironically you tend to attract partners who invalidate you instead.
When you put your partner on a pedestal they tend to put you below themselves.
When you posture, you tend to attract someone who is misleading you.
When you search for chemistry… the chemistry fades and the relationship turns toxic.
Not that mutual attraction and HOT SEX aren’t good – the opposite is true! It’s just that if you search for chemistry then you are focusing your attention on the physical connection and missing out the emotional intimacy.
The example of love your parents passed onto you set the stage for your beliefs about love and your own worthiness for receiving love; this also includes your self love.
Now, I’m not harping on parents and caregivers by any means. I know just as well how difficult and what a HUGE responsibility it is raising a child. As parent, we’ve got our own sh*t we’re deal with (a busy schedules, stressful job, parenting we received, divorce/separation…).
As a child, it’s hard for us to understand or even see how much our parents tried and struggles to create a good life for us. So what we’ve perceived as a young child ends up staying with us into our adult life.
It’s entirely possible for you to switch your current beliefs on love – if they are in some way limiting beliefs.
Begin by loving yourself.
All parts of yourself.
Even the icky and ugly parts of you are worthy of love!
When you give yourself permission to be perfectly-imperfect, your signaling a powerful message to your man that you simply will not settle for a love that falls short of this!
By doing this it inspires your man (and others around you) to also love the icky parts of themselves. He’ll naturally feel more comfortable and confident in your presence and he’ll open his heart up to you.
Essentially, once you can embrace yourself fully and give yourself unconditional love, then you will you attract and inspire others to love you in this way.